Since I was 5, my family used to push me on stage to perform. Not to sing and dance, but to render a declamation piece. Maybe it is one of the legacies of my family to declaim since my Lola and my Ate were also a product of the declamation industry (if there's one) during their childhood days. I can still remember the first piece I performed (yes, memorized ko pa rin). And that "A Little Gray Kitten" piece brought me a silver medal and a Miss Junior Prep title (not bad for a newbie).
As I grew up, I was discovering that this is a talent I must treasure. Supported by my Lola, who was my forever coach, pursued me to join contests as many as I could. Until I became used to go on stage and look in front of large number of people. Well I must say that this contributed a lot in gaining my self confidence I have right now. And yes, I was winning, and collecting medals from those kinds of contests became my hobby.
One of the memorable performances that really became special to me was when I was in 4th year, when my school sent me to UP Diliman to compete with other schools all over Metro Manila for an oral interpretation contest. Though all the pressure was thrown to me, I was still able to bag the 2nd Runner Up. And I say, that would be just my stepping stone in reaching my success.
Then I entered college without any thorough thinking of what course I should take. Because of this, I chose Mass communication out of mediocrity. "maybe it is the closest course to my interest", that was my word. I thought Masscom is for artistas, and people who love the stage, so I was looking forward that my life will revolve around performing. But things turned out so differently, as I discovered that there is more to life than facing the stage. I finally left my dream of being a professional performer and a public speaker, as I learned that being spontaneous is more important than rendering pieces, and talking to the smallest group of people is needed rather than a stage-audience setup. Moreover, I enjoyed more being one of the people behind the scenes, than being the person who is exposed to spotlight. I started to fall in love in directing, editing and advocacy work and I left acting behind.
I started to tell myself that my winning moment in UP-D is now my last performance ever. It's time to learn new things more important than that. Not until the time when we had a poetry reading production briefing when my classmates pointed me out to perform. OKAY. I couldn't appeal and afford to say no. So I accepted it (since it is for the sake of my grade). This time, I have no coach, no rehearsals, no costume preparations. And all I have was a paper containing my piece and myself. I just memorized the poem and performed. Though I already lost my projection and attitude which I gained from my prior performances, I'm glad my classmates were still complimenting my long lost talent. And now, I can finally say that that was now my final and last declamation performance after almost 15 bibo years of my entire life. I've had enough, and I enjoyed it! I have to get back to my normal life again, a life that revolves not around the stage, but behind it instead.
I am now officially a De(is)claimer and hence, I'll just see you at the control booth (if you know what I mean).
The day I said I want more...
The day I said, ENOUGH.
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